A Day In The Life Of
by Ayumi3
Summary: Ever wanted to know what the FF7 crew get up to in a normal day? Well now you can! Today Cloud wants rid of everyone but how can he do that? There's only one way to find out! Yes...that means you have to read it! ^_^


Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters yadda yadda yadda. They all belong to Square.

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A Day In The Life Of…

Cloud Strife

7:29…just one more minute of peace and quiet. He'd better make the most of it. Any second now the number would change. Any second…Beep! Beep!

"Cloud, rise and shine!"

Cloud reluctantly pulled off the covers and rubbed his eyes wearily. Another day full of nagging and noise was sure to ensue.

"Cloud get your lazy ass out of bed now!"

"All right, I'm coming!"

He yawned and slowly stepped out of bed, his feet weren't too keen on touching the cold floor so early in the morning. He could smell bacon being cooked downstairs, obviously by Tifa.

Life in the villa always started early. With Barrett around no one was allowed to lie in after 7:30. Cloud had bought the place after the whole meteor and Sephiroth ordeal in order to get away from things whenever he needed to. Unfortunately everyone else thought it was OK for them to stay there as well. The villagers of Costa Del Sol were only just beginning to get used to them.

The stairs creaked as Cloud walked down them. As he looked over the oak banisters he could see Tifa spreading butter over toast whilst keeping an eye on the frying pan and Barrett at the table reading his paper with Yuffie sitting opposite him playing with her cup and ball. Her tongue was poking out, showing how much concentration she was putting into it. The ball itself wasn't going anywhere near the cup no matter how much she tried.

"Hey Cloud…eww…." Yuffie covered her eyes as she watched Cloud walk down. Her toy fell out of her hands and made a clacking noise on the wooden floor. "Put something on! That's so indecent!"

Cloud looked down at what he was wearing, his white boxers. If he was allowed to stay here on his own like he had planned then there wouldn't be a problem with this sort of attire.

"She's right," Tifa butted in. "You can't sit at the breakfast table looking like that."

Cloud could barely stop himself from throttling the pair. This was his villa, why shouldn't he go around dressed how he wanted to? Tifa handed him a cup of coffee and smiled. She was always so bright and breezy in the morning and he couldn't understand how she could manage it. Especially with this motley crew. Speaking of which, where were all the others?

"Tifa, how long is it going to take? I asked for my breakfast ages ago," Barrett moaned.

"Be patient or you won't get anything at all!" she shouted back at him.

Here we go again, Cloud thought to himself. He took a sip of his coffee and spat it out instantly. Too much sugar. He put the mug onto the table and pulled out one of the chairs. Barrett turned the page of his newspaper and Yuffie quickly resumed playing with her cup and ball.

The morning was so peaceful, which made a nice change. Usually there would be some sort of argument between Barrett, Cid and Tifa over what everyone wanted to eat. Cait Sith would be trying to somehow scam Red XIII even though he should know by now how smart the animal was and Yuffie would be playing with some annoying toy. It was only Vincent who would manage to somehow remain calm throughout.

"Here you go, a nice bacon sandwich to start your day," Tifa said as she put the food in front Cloud.

He eagerly took a bite but almost choked at the foul taste which had entered his mouth. He peeked inside the two slices of bread and instead of being greeted with a healthy piece of bacon there was nothing but black. It tasted like ashes and didn't look far off it either.

"You know what, I'm not that hungry. I think I'll go have a shower instead," he excused himself and quickly made his way to the refuge of the bathroom. Tifa, disappointed with the fact that Cloud obviously didn't like her cooking, picked up his plate and shoved it in front of Barrett who took one look at it and pushed it aside.

***

"Clang, clang, clang, went the trolley! Ding, ding, ding, went the bell! Zing, zing, zing, went my heart-strings! For the moment I saw him I fell - WHOA!"

THUD! Cloud slowly picked himself up after tumbling carelessly out of the shower. He fumbled around for a towel and dried himself off once he had grabbed one. Carefully tying it around his waist he picked up a bottle of hair gel which had been standing on the shelving unit. He unscrewed the black plastic bottle cap and squeezed it, allowing the green liquid to ooze slowly onto the palm of his hand. His hands carefully styled his hair in the way he would always wear it, sticking up like he had just been electrocuted. Well, he thought it was cool.

Outside he could hear Cid and Cait Sith. The whirring of the Tiny Bronco started up so Cloud opened up the bathroom window to see what was going on.

"You @!?*!!$ stupid asshole! Get out of my @!?*!!$ plane! You stupid ShinRa &!$@!"

"Relax will ya? I'm just taking it for a spin. I'll be back in no time…..uh-oh."

Cait ducked as the plane smashed straight into the Jacuzzi house. The expression on Cloud's face turned from curious and confused to sheer anger. He looked like he was about to explode.

"CAIT! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

The fortune-teller picked himself from the rubble, somehow still in one piece, and looked up at the window. He let out a sheepish laugh and then walked towards Cid who was trying to pull out what was left of his beloved plane.

"My plane! The only thing that I love! Why does it always have to be me? Why?" Cid was almost in tears as he realised that there was no chance of the Tiny Bronco taking to the skies again. Cait put an arm on his shoulder and tried to comfort him.

Back in the bathroom, Cloud sighed angrily. This was the last straw. There was no way he was going to allow any of them to stay here any longer.

***

Red sat with his head resting on his paw. The heat was unbearable for him but he had been sitting out in it for four hours now. He scratched his ear and then went back into deep thought. His other paw toyed with a chess piece. Vincent sat opposite of him, waiting for the animal to make his move. The game was almost over but Red liked to think about every possible move he could make. Slowly, his paw grasped the queen and he placed it on a white square.

"I do believe that that is check mate," he purred.

Vincent looked at where the pieces were positioned and nodded. He had indeed lost the game but he was glad it was over. He wasn't a particularly big fan of chess but Red was the only person in the villa he actually liked. All the others he just tolerated.

"How about draughts same time tomorrow?" the animal asked.

Again, Vincent just nodded and helped Red put everything away. He liked the fact that Red XIII would never have a go at him when he wasn't in the mood to talk. It was something which none of the others seemed to have mastered yet. Cloud, still fuming from what had happened whilst he was in the bathroom, walked up to the pair and initiated conversation.

"Hey Red, Vince."

"Hello Cloud."

"…"

"Say, have you got a minute?" he asked.

They both nodded, wondering what it was that Cloud wanted to talk to them about.

"What's the best way to get people to leave a place?"

Red looked a little baffled by this question. He wasn't too sure what he was supposed to say or why Cloud was asking it. Vincent, however, knew exactly what to say.

"Think about it. What is the last place that you would want to stay?"

"Easy," Cloud said quickly. "ShinRa Mansion in Nibleheim."

"Why?" Vincent asked.

Cloud hesitated before answering. There were many reasons why he would never want to go back there, too many to list.

"Too many memories," he finally answered.

"Is that all? I too have memories of that place but they are not the only things which keep me from returning."

"…Sephiroth. I know it sounds crazy but I'd always be waiting for him to return. I'd even be too scared to sleep. Hey…that's it!" he yelled excitedly. "Thanks! You guys are life savers!"

He ran off and Vincent just shrugged. Red laughed and picked up the remaining chess pieces.

***

Grocery shopping was something which Yuffie wasn't particularly fond of. Maybe it was because she would have to carry heavy bags back to the villa, or because she was never too sure what to get. Then again, it could have been because every time she went Cait Sith always tagged along. It was like he had a timetable of when to annoy people.

Costa Del Sol, famous for not having any regular shopping areas, was a nightmare during the day. Two stalls, that was all it had. One sold food, the other sold medicinal items. What was wrong with the place? It was so primitive in that respect and Yuffie couldn't stand it. She preferred places such as Cosmo Canyon, Mideel and even Midgar when it was around.

Both her and Cait stopped as they reached the food stall. There was no one there, yet everything was out for sale.

"Do you think they'd notice if we just took it?" Cait asked.

Yuffie shook her head at him. Whilst she had no second thoughts when it came to stealing Materia she wasn't interested in pilfering anything else.

"Hello! Hey, anyone gonna serve us or not?" Yuffie looked around and saw a man running from behind one of the buildings.

"All right, all right! Jeesh, can't a guy take a whizz in peace anymore?"

As Yuffie told the man the items which she needed, Cait shuddered as something walked past him. He turned but all he could see was a figure in a dark cloak walking towards the villa. Must have been nothi - wait a minute! A figure in a dark cloak walking towards the villa??? Surely it can't be!

"Yuffie! Yuffie!"

"Hang on a minute, I'm busy here."

"Sephi-Sephi-Sephiroth!!!!!!!!!! He's here! He's gone to the villa! We've got to do something Yuffie!"

The ninja yawned as she looked at the cat riding upon the stuffed mog. She couldn't believe that he was trying this old trick. Sure, it might have been good a couple of months ago but now it was just boring.

"OK Cait, why don't you go and stop him whilst I finish buying the groceries," she said sarcastically.

"You don't believe me?!" Cait yelled at her. "But he's here! I saw him! How many other guys do you know who go around in black cloaks in this weather? And don't you dare say Vincent! It's the truth, who knows what evil, demonic stuff he's up to now! Jenova! Do you think that he's after Jenova still? Oh my god! Oh my god! The others! Yuffie, we have to do something!"

"Stop shouting you idiot! You must think I'm really dumb if you reckon I'll fall for that one." Yuffie sounded annoyed and Cait could tell that no matter what he said she wasn't likely to believe him. There was only one thing he could do, he had to go there on his own and try to stop this menace before he hurt anyone.

***

Cloud snickered as he opened the back door to the villa. There was no way that anyone was going to recognise him, not whilst he was in this disguise anyway. He was such a genius to think up this. The wig he was wearing was a bit itchy, and the boots were two sizes too big but apart from that everything was perfect. All he had to do was act convincing and be scary enough to make everyone run away.

The kitchen was completely empty apart from the dirty dishes in the sink. Upstairs he could hear someone crying. It had to be Cid. Not the easiest target but he had to start somewhere. The stairs creaked as he slowly walked up. The door to Cid's room was closed. Cloud slowly turned the handle and then flung the door open and pulled out a plastic sword.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have found you!" he laughed maniacally. "Tell me where the others are or I'll kill you!"

Cid, in the middle of his sobbing, looked up at the mess that was standing in front of him. Cloud tried his best at being evil but the fact that the wig was slipping off his head kind of stopped him.

"What are you doing man?!" Cid cried. "I'm heartbroken over my plane and you think it's funny to dress up as that @!?*!!$ $**!@*% Sephiroth?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Ermm…Sorry Cid. I didn't mean to..umm…"

"What is going on up here?"

Tifa and Barrett stood at the doorway, looking rather annoyed at Cloud. Cloud sighed, his plan had failed. There was no way that he would ever have this villa to himself. He just had to get used to it.

"Cloud what has gotten into you?" Tifa asked. "These past few days you've been acting really weird with us all. Have we done something to upset you?"

Before Cloud could answer, Cait Sith came rampaging up the stairs and burst into the room, knocking over Tifa.

"Sephi-Sephi-Sephiroth! He's coming! Run for your lives! Run!"

They all looked at him and then at Cloud, who backed away into a corner, trying to get away from their gaze. Cait was jumping up and down, trying to get them to listen but none of them paid attention to his ramblings. They seemed more interested in getting Cloud to apologise to Cid for what he had just done.

Downstairs the front door creaked open. A person clad in black stepped in and looked around the room. With the stairs to his right, the figure proceeded in climbing them. Upstairs he could hear some sort of argument going on, so none of them could hear the noise of his boots on each wooden stair. Reaching for the sword which hung on his back he stopped just as he reached the second floor and flung back his silver hair.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

If Cait could have wet himself then this was the time he would have done it. His scream led everyone to look and scream themselves. Sephiroth let out an evil laughter and was about to do his first bout of slashing before Cait ran past him, trying to get away as quickly as he could. The others all did the same. Not having time to prepare for a show down with the maniac caused them to panic. Only Cloud was left in the room and with only a plastic sword as a weapon, there really was no contest.

"Aeris, my love, my dear, my precious, my whatever else you care to be, I know you're dead and all but if you remember correctly I did do you a big favour and got your materia to work so that the world would be saved and all. So technically that means you owe me something. And now would be a good time for you to repay me. You know, because I don't want to die yet. Please!"

As Cloud was down on his knees, praying to his dead love, Sephiroth walked up to him.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Our brave little hero is now nothing more than a cowardly boy! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Cloud's eyes were filling up with water. This couldn't be the end! It just couldn't! There had to be some way to stop him. Luckily for him Yuffie had come back home and had climbed up the stairs to see what all the noise was. As soon as she saw the silver hair and the black cloak she grabbed her cup and ball which was in her pocket and flung it at his head. Sephiroth immediately dropped his sword and to both Cloud and Yuffie's horror, pulled off his face.

"And it was going so well too. I'm sorry Vincent but that really hurt. We can't carry this on anymore."

Red XIII and Vincent pulled off the rest of the disguise and Cloud stood up.

"Why?" he asked them.

"Because we saw the job you had done with your disguise and decided that you might have needed some help," Red revealed. "Besides, we wanted shot of everyone else too."

"Wow," Yuffie breathed. "You guys did such an amazing job! I thought it was really him. Well that added plenty of excitement into my day. What about you Cloud?"

"Ahh, I think today has been pretty normal for my standards," he winked.


End file.
